*lays out some nice pillows and gathers you all around for a story*

Well, I'm sure you have all been to the Enchanted Tiki Room, you know the place, where the birds all sing and the flowers croon? It was a sweltering day at Disneyland, the summer of 93 or 94 it must have been. The crowds were milling about adventureland, all waiting in line for the Jungle Cruise, headed to NO/CC perhaps. Very few people actually stopping by the Tiki Room. Perhaps it was our loud orange shirts or maybe it was that our little show was tucked away, out of view.

Either way, Lady Inspiration hit me over the head with a rubber mallet that day and as I watched the birds and stars circle my head I had a great idea....THE NEW AND IMPROVED, ENCHANTED TIKI SPECTACULAR!! I set to work on it right away by checking the lost and found items where I discovered a very small shoe. I checked with the Dole Pineapple stand and sure enough they had plenty of sugar packets so I liberated a pocketful. I spoke with my partner in crime that day and let him know of my intentions and the assistance he would need to provide.

the show went like this:

--pre show--I walked around offering free packets of sugar to all the little kids in the audience. I could see the love in their parents eyes as I got those kids good and high with 3-5 sugar packets each.

--as my partner walked out towards the fountain to start the show, I used my excellent skills as a ventriloquist(in other words, the microphone) and made muffled sounds during his spiel, he looked around confused till he found a young child and asked him to stand up.

---gruffy the chair:

ahhhh, thats better, boy I tell you I couldn't breathe with that kid on me! Thanks alot for saving me.

CM: Sorry about that gruffy but we have a full show today, the kids gotta sit somewhere

GTC: well not on me! I want to see the show too! I never get to see the show, people always plopping down on me, never asking before they sit.

CM: well Gruffy, he's just a little kid, I mean how much can he weigh?

GTC: I'll tell you how much he weighs, he weighs way too much!!

CM:  Gruffy, he's gonna have to sit down, I'm sorry but people wanna see the show.

GTC oh allright then, just make sure he sits down nice and slow

*cm tells kid to sit slowly on the chair, all the while GTC makes grunts and moans and assorted muffled noises*

CM: sorry about that folks, anyways, back to our show

---Pepe the Pinapple

PTP pssst!

*cm looks around and continues spiel*

PTP: psst! Senor!

*CM walks over to fountain that is decorated with dozens of pineapples*

CM umm, hello?

PTP hello, my name ees pepe dee pineapple, plees dont tell anyone i am here.

CM: why are you scared Pepe?

PTP the dole pinapple ladees outside, they want to cut me up and feed me to the peepol. First they took my seester, then they took my brother, now they want meeeeee!

CM well pepe I wont tell anyone you are in here, can you guys all keep the secret?

*audience mumbles yes, obviously confused as to what the hell is happening to their beloved tiki show*

PTP:Thank you so much meester, you know, I once was known as the fruit of kings, but now I am known as the king of fruits.

CM: umm, yes, well thank you for that. Ahem, as I was saying (starts spiel over again)

---Phillipe the very tiny French shoe

PTS: bonjour!

CM: (groans) what now?

PTS over here, in thee fountain!

CM: (walks back to fountain and pulls out the tiny shoe from the foliage)

PTS: Hello, my name is Phillipe zee tiny fronch shoo

CM: and?

PTS: are you not impressed? I am a tinee shoo, and I am zpeaking! I am phillipe, zee tinee fronch shoo!

CM: (puts shoe back and mumbles apologies and finally starts the show)

Show continues as normal until the offenbach song where I come out and do my special ballet dance

--upon leaving (all the characters say good bye!)

wow! What do you guys think? Takes the ole tiki room to another level huh? J